G A B R I E L A

When I was little every time someone would call me "Gaby," my dad would intervene and clarify that my name was actually "Gabriela." Twenty plus years later I think I am going to start doing the same (yes, dad, you were right... :).

This is me tonight... my head was cold.

Usually I introduce myself as "Gaby" because it is easier for people (especially international folks) to pronounce and remember. But heck, that's not my name and I would really appreciate it if you took the time and effort to learn to pronounce and memorize my name. Repeat after me: Gah-bree-eh-lah. (We will work on the accent later--it's a Spanish name after all!) (Oh and the last names will come later as well--yep, I got two!).

So since we are talking about names, lets talk about the name of this blog and the reason behind it!

Let's start a few years back: Having gone through a break-up (one of those heartbreaking and never-ending ones) in the last months of 2007, the Spring of 2008 started for me as a time of possibilities. I was excited about being single once again and looked forward to what laid ahead of me. I particularly got excited after reading George Bernard Shaw's quote that reads "Life is not about searching for yourself. Life is about creating yourself," which in a way empowered me to become more intentional about the way I was living my life.

So I started :: creating gabriela :: in March of 2008 as a way to share thoughts and insights as I engaged in the process of "creating myself." 

Five years and two more break-ups later, here I sit on the floor of my room, in the 8th apartment I have lived in during my 8 years in Knoxville, excited to share with ya'll this never-ending process of self-creation as I recount the ways in which I have created and re-created this self of mine over and over again. (Of course, this is not something done "by myself" in isolation: there are material as well as ideological limitations and enhancers, plus all kinds of people influencing my life in both negative and positive ways. I hope to account for all of this in my future writings.)

But first I gotta admit that having a blog to share personal insights about life both fascinates me and intimidates me. It fascinates me because I long to share these insights with others and engage in meaningful discussions about life and the universe we inhabit. It intimidates me because it makes me vulnerable: Putting my thoughts out there for people to read means that people can judge, criticize or even ridicule me for what I write. Of course, it is also possible that people would find this interesting, helpful or at least entertaining. But it could be that no one ever takes the time to read my posts or to comment and that is also a bit frightening.

Lucky for me, I have been learning wonderful  lessons on "the power of vulnerability" through the talks and writings of Brene Brown (check her TED Talks on vulnerability and on shame; and her books).

According to her research (she is a storyteller-social worker), becoming vulnerable or "letting ourselves be seen" is fundamental to establishing meaningful relationships with others and creating community. So since that is something that I want more of in my life, "ta-da", here I go!