Becoming Gluten-Free Gabo: A Daily Struggle

I feel very tired today and my body hurts. I also feel a bit sad and I could easily cry. My stomach is bloated too.

If you are around me often, you know that this is not an unusual thing with me. You see, my body is sensitive to gluten and this is how it reacts to it (kinda like having a gluten hangover).

I wasn't aware of my body's intolerance to gluten until last Spring, so for a couple years before that I was constantly sick and didn't know what was causing it. The worst part was that my partner at the time didn't believe I was sick -- he thought I was making it up!

It is hard to justify a sickness to someone else when there are no visible signs or (apparent) logical explanation. So for a while I felt isolated and misunderstood for I didn't know how to explain what I was experiencing or what was causing it.

But in the midst of desperation caused by the debilitating symptoms, I ended up reading about the possibility of being gluten sensitive, even if one wasn't fully allergic to gluten (i.e. celiac disease). So I experimented for a week by not eating gluten, which included not eating my favorite snack: Stacy's Pita Chips :( but wow, I was surprised by how great I felt that week! Since then I've been transitioning to a gluten-free diet, but most of the time it is still a struggle.

It's a relief to know what is causing my body and mind to feel this way. And yes, I could get rid of these feelings by not eating gluten but, you see, it's not that simple. This is my daily struggle. And sometimes if I don't plan in advance or if I have no other option when eating out, I end up eating gluten-full meals (basically anything that contains wheat and some other grains).

Besides, I'm still learning how to eat a balanced gluten-free diet. Not eating wheat based products means that I'm not consuming enough of certain nutrients, like fiber, iron and vitamin B. And so far I haven't been too good at taking care of that. It's a struggle, especially being in grad school and working part time -- I don't have time to worry about all this shit. But I know I can and will overcome it.

So today as my body hurts and I feel weak, both physically and mentally, I know it is not because I'm crazy or lazy or I'm making it up. Most importantly, I do not have to justify my symptoms to anyone. This is fucking how I feel and if you are not willing to believe me then I don't need you in my life.

In other news, I'm getting my first tattoo today :)